How to Reduce Jealousy About Christmas Cards

The beautiful thing about navigating the holidays is that we have traditions that give us a heads up on what circumstances we might find ourselves in. For example, I have lots of friends and cousins who are in the kids under 5 stage who I know are very likely to send out incredibly cute holiday cards featuring their family, sometimes with a special call out if a baby was born this year. 

Because I know that this is likely to happen, I can use my adult decision making brain ahead of time to decide on purpose how I want to think and feel around receiving these cards. 

If I imagine myself opening a card or look one up from last year even, and I sense that I would feel maybe jealousy. I love to say “yes” to jealousy because jealousy actually helps me know what my desires are. You know how someone asks you what you want, and sometimes the answer is just “I don’t know” and you can’t think of one single thing in that moment that you want? Well jealousy is pointing at the thing waving a flag saying “I want that!” 

The gentle redirection that is possible here is to first recognize that that is what is happening: “ah, hello jealousy, what is it that we are desiring?” Then to thank jealousy for showing us what our desires are. Often for me, this step of thanking the feeling releases the yucky subtext of jealousy which is “they have what I want (and I can’t have it).” This thought is based in scarcity and frankly it just doesn’t move me forward. By switching my mind into gratitude, scarcity typically leaves the building. 

Once I have recognized my jealousy, asked for what information it has and thanked it, genuinely, for communicating my desires with me, I suggest the second step of really appreciating the details of the photo. This sounds a little weird but I swear it has helped me. So I’m not talking about counting how many kids are in it and stacking more drama in my mind, I mean look at the lighting. What about the poses? Is someone wearing a cute hair bow or a little pair of shoes? Abraham Hicks teaches appreciation as a method of attracting more of the same and that’s what I’m going for with this tool. I want to really love on these pictures if I know that this is what I desire for myself because I’m saying “yes” to all of it. I’m saying yes to my jealousy, and I’m saying yes to loving what I’m seeing. And you know what, if I feel a little bit sad working through this process I say yes to that too, because for me sadness often points to healing. This helps me to receive and enjoy my holiday cards when I’m working through a loss and I hope it helps you too.